Where have all the Cowboy’s Gone?

I don’t know. I love their accent though, at least what I imagine a cowboy should sound like. The heavy drawl, the fitted jeans, the horse….  But that is not the point of today’s blog, the point is so much is going on. George Clooney was arrested, I got married (the first of three), I found an amazing boutique hotel in Oslo, Kali Dining is going superbly well (if you haven’t booked your dinner yet -DO!), I am about to plan a bachelorette party (Good Lord) and my gym instructor completed Iron Man with all of her toes broken.

I have much to write and heaps to tell, but for now I wanted to say remember to cream up. Yes, it’s dry outside no matter where you are (well at least if you are in Norway or California) so make sure your skin is hydrated! A good option are the body butter’s from The Body Shop. These thick and glorious these creams truly replenish your famished skin. The coconut one is my personal fave, I have to refrain from smelling myself too much in public (at home I couldn’t give a damn). I am obsessed with keeping hydrated – our body needs water to survive. I even managed to make my father drink six glasses of water a day whilst at home. He has never and I mean NEVER drunk a glass of water. He hates it. Six may have been a bit much as he spent much of his time peeing. My father, however, has never had to stop the car to pee, go into a cafe to pee or ever make any pee stop what so ever… as an active peer I believe it is about time he pees a little.

Before I love you and leave you – Happy Friday. (Is it me or did this week not even exist? It went far too fast.)

There is so much going on in LA this weekend with it being St. Patricks, The Los Angeles Marathon but seeing as it is going to rain I suggest (what I feel like doing more like…) 

A trip to the LACMA – In Wonderland: The Surrealist Adventures of Women Artists in Mexico and the United States – Dinner at Terroni afterwards is a must.

A wet and wild adventure with Poseidon Stand-Up Paddle Board - Get a Lesson in Paddle Boarding with your friends (who cares if it’s raining – it adds to the fun) go halt the pending cold with a few beers at the Venice Ale House afterwards.

Un peu de Pamper – So the weather report says rain. Boo. What better excuse to go and beautify yourself. First stop, get those gorgeous brows with Kelly Baker at Kelley Baker Brows on Abbot Kinney. She is the best. Full-stop. Buy her lip-gloss too, as Kelley says, It’s all about the Brows and Lips.

Get Cut – give Angela Garcia at Euphoria Salon on Abbot Kinney a call. She will do your locks better than Goldy every could. (Bottom line – she is the best).

Prepare your body for the week to come at Odacite Garden Spa - Again when it rains, it pours so just give in completely and treat yourself to a massage at the wondrous Odacite Garden Spa (behind the Detox Market on Abbot Kinney).

Go to the Pictures – This is a Cinema weekend (I know it is St. Patty’s but have a beer pre and post movie) because this Sunday BARAKA is showing at the Egyptian Theatre and if you haven’t seen this visual masterpiece, please do.

Also – There will be a Malcolm McDowell Tribute this weekend at the Egyptian Theatre and you can come along to witness McDowell being honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday, March 16th at 11:30 am outside of the Pig ‘N Whistle!

Who has seen the Artist? I hope to finally see it this weekend! Will let you know my thoughts on it…pictures of the 1st wedding, an Oslo low down and much more to come…soon. To a screen near you.

What business is it his?

Forgive me readers for it has been far too long since my last post. During the last months much has occurred. I was proposed to (twice), I was in Paris, Oslo, Mexico, lost a friend, became a royal bridzilla for a brief stint and started writing for a travel review website called Our Man on The Ground (which I absolutely love). [I intend to write about this and let you know about all of this, just you wait.]

I decided to write today because as I wandered along the alley behind the Venice board walk I overheard two people talking rather vociferously. As these young men, with their trousers sagging, their cap tilted sideways and their sin glasses covering most of their head,  gestured enthusiastically with their hands, feet and midriff  I managed to grasp that they were complaining about a common friend. These two men, slightly afeminate in tone and maneurisms, managed to paint a rather lucid picture with flowery words. Never before had I head the use of certain four letter words in such artistic expressions of disgust. It was glorious. I slowed down my pace and as I wandered out of ears length I heard the last exasperated comment emanate from their pursed lips, “and besides….what business is it his?!” Lets face it, asking what business is it his is a form of contemporary Shakespearean language that made my heart beat happily. If these two sassy hoochie men were in any play they would boast a massive success.

As I continued my walk I realized it was time to return to the jenny blog. From now on I am back with my life commentaries, I have fresh stories up my sleeves and much to tell….

For now I am off to shower and dress for a dinner with some people Carlos and I met at a restaurant a few weeks ago. Inspired by my Shakespearean hoochie men a new phrase has been born just in time for the weekend. Say it loud, say it proud, “what business is it his?!”

 

Looking back in order to look forward

I wrote this November 22nd 2009 at 6:45 pm. I had no idea how my life was about to change. I had decided to go to Mexico to spend a couple of months with my Mexican family. I ended up staying, working for my (distant) cousin as her PA,  falling madly in love (with her brother) and moving to LA in the span of  about 5 months. [I shall tell the story soon enough] I found this as I was sorting out my documents and thought I would share it. I am full of energy and enthusiasm, ready to take on any challenge and embracing life. I think I am still like that. And hope to remain as such forever. This was a timely reminder to me that one never knows what life holds. Life is full of unexpected events, the trick is to enjoy the time you have, or as I like to say, enjoy the process for if you don’t – what is the point?

Without further ado here is my diary entry:

“Airports…

After now flying for what seems like a millions hours, and in reality is a whopping fourteen, I am no finally in beautiful Mexico City! Leaving Oslo at seven in the morning, however, meant awaking at the early hours, beyond early really, at four am. But as I sit here, on my grandmother’s sofa, listening to her play the piano, I cannot help but feel that I am seven inches away from heaven. You see, my grandmother, aged ninety-four, is in incredibly good health (knock on wood). Yes, her memory has started to go, but she does her exercises every morning, eats very VERY healthily, and most importantly, has tequila. Every day.

On the plane ride over, I sat in the luxury seats that I was graced with by BA, and felt every inch of my being tickle with excitement. I had intended to write about people at airports, but whilst at Heathrow I was so tired I couldn’t really focus on what was going on around me, (although, there was a very rude man who saw me through the security check. Poor fella’ I actually felt bad for him, because he bossed people around as if he was some sort of God, when he obviously had an inferiority complex. I smiled at him politely, and cursed him viciously under my breath (of course!) Flying with BA has always been so lovely. Especially when crossing the ‘pond’. Everyone is so polite. I was lucky enough to change my seat for one where I was the only one in the row. Heavenly. I do find it very amusing that the meal they serve was a curry. I mean, how impractical?! The whole plane stank of curry! Now, I am not a great curry eater, due to my very sensitive disposition, but alas, I ate it. Every last piece of curry powdered chicken and dry rice. And then, oh yes, I ate desert too! I slept like a baby, and then watched some “Julie, Julia”, a wonderful film, which made me hungry for something other than a curry. The sandwich that was served later on (coronation chicken….a theme?) was not satisfactory, but it was eaten. I felt that since money was spent on the ticket, I MUST eat the meal! Ridiculous, I know, nevertheless, how I felt.

When I finally arrived in Mexico, after flying for twelve hours from London, I was as you can imagine, ‘pooped’. I had managed to sleep on the plane so I wasn’t that tired. There is something soothing about sleeping in a plane, don’t you think? Especially if you have space to stretch your legs! I love waking up, and peeping out of sleepy eyes, and seeing the clouds below, all white and poofy. I used to believe that planes flew above heaven when I was little, and would try to spot my grandparents. I have never told anybody this, so there you go. Wouldn’t it be nice if that was the case? That planes flew over heaven, and those you knew (lucky enough to be in heaven), would wave at you from afar, munching on bagels smeared in Philadelphia cheese, and eating ice cream.

What I do not find soothing in a plane is going to the bathroom. Yes, you heard me, whether it be number one or two. The plane shakes and you feel that your last moment on earth (well in the air) is going to be sitting on an airplane toilet seat either peeing or taking a shit (pardon my French). If the plane were to drop, would all the ‘matter’ in the toilet bowl fly up into your face? What if you lose your balance and have to steady yourself by accidentally placing your hands in the bowl?! Oh the horror! These are the distressing thoughts that I ponder as I sit there, wishing I could go, and so of course I don’t. When I was little I used to fear flushing the airplane toilet, because, let’s be honest, it sounds like a violent cookie monster is singing out of tune! Horrific! For a child this can be traumatizing! In fact, it still scares me, and I never fail to jump a little when the horrendous flush bellows out of the jaws of the toilet throne.

As I finally stepped off the plane for the first time in my life, I did not feel the altitude. Usually I feel it, I feel like I am about to faint! But not yesterday, I literally skipped off the plane, ready to commence what I know will be an important part of my life. I got my suitcases relatively quickly, despite being approached by a guy who was very nice to talk to. Very nice, until he asked for my email, of number. You know what? Why. Why did he have to go there! I was very clear that I was not interested, and he had to destroy our brief encounter by asking for my contact details! I am too embarrassed to say no, so I gave him my email, knowing that I can always delete and block him. But, what does one do in those situations I ask you? Just say no? But why? He was not a creepy man, he was just nice, and to be honest I am flattered that he was interested in me. Despite not being hansom, or especially interesting, it is flattering that someone finds you appealing isn’t it? One day I won’t be approached anymore, and people may even run away from me, weeping and screaming. So, I suppose I enjoy it whilst I can, no?

Anyways, I got through customs easily, and there was my uncle waiting for me with arms wide open! Off we drove home, and had a lovely ‘cena’ (evening meal) with my grandmother and cousins, simply divine! I awoke today with a broad smile on my face, and I feel thrilled to be in Mexico. I haven’t been out and about yet in the city, although I did walk with my grandma to the supermarket today to buy papaya. The weather is warm, everyone told me it would be cold, but as I am used to coming in the summer, the rainy season I am used to the awful humid cold, now it is dry, and I love it! On the way to the supermarket we passed the fruit markets, and I waved at the ladies selling fruit. I love how gentle they are. How they know my grandma, how their plump little bodies fit carefully under the hand-woven aprons, how they are missing a few teeth, and how they smile with their eyes.

I am off to eat tacos tonight.

All my love, Jenny”