Some people are ardent practitioners of the bullshit. You heard me. They don’t practice what they preach – they simply don’t walk the walk of their daily talk – the words that roll effortlessly of their tongues are no more than pearls of bull….shit.
We have all encountered them and so many of us just put up with it. We put up with working with or being friends with people who step on us for their own personal gain. For some reason we facilitate that. Why? Why should someone else get to walk around pooping on your head? We make excuses for them -”oh well they don’t really mean to….they have a good heart.”
Enough.
If these kinds of people make your life tense, anxiety ridden and downright painful – why put up with it? Why should they be given the right to complicate your life? Isn’t life complicated enough?
Sometimes we cannot change people, so even if we were to shed light on a certain person’s difficult behavior and attempt reasoning with them, they may get defensive and just not understand, ever. The truth is we shouldn’t really aim to change these people but do what we can to improve the situation for ourselves. In other words, de-friend or attempt to change our work situation.
Don’t remain paralyzed in a situation under the pretense that it may improve. Be honest with yourself and be brave.
It’s no more bullshit time. And definitely No more Asshole time too….
what if they are family?
Hello Megan
Family is a tricky one. It always depends – family can drive us all crazy no matter how much we love them. And you know what? That is completely normal. It’s normal to get annoyed with people. Nevertheless, it is also important to stand up for yourself – not in a petulant manner – but simply stand true to who you are in the midst of family. Some of us have family members, however, that are really tiring….sometimes in severe cases so much so that we distance ourselves from them. That is for a longer conversation – what’s your situation?
Warm hug,
Jenny
Awww, I can’t wait for your stance on this one, I too have several people who are difficult to deal with, that are permanent parts of the family.
you know it sista!!!
Since having a child in March, I’ve felt a strong need to distance myself from my cousin who is incredibly self centered. She’s mean spirited. She’s the type of person that makes you feel like she says something negative the minute you leave the room. She’s also a mom with children of similar age. She thought that once my son was born, we would have play dates, exchange baby stories and what not. The last thing I want to do is spend my time with her…..and expose my son to her behavior. Also, I am not only a mother but also a breast cancer survivor so I really _don’t_ have time for her bullshit
Its a tricky situation because she doesn’t pick up on subtle behavior hints- self centered people never so 
. Its caused me a lot of anxiety over the past few years, but now its more acute because I’m a mom. The trickiest part is that my husband and I met through our cousins, so we have the connection on both sides. I could drone on and on, but basically….the situation blows.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this. (I actually typed out a full LONG answer and my computer died on me….grrrr so here goes another attempt!)
It sounds to me as though your cousin is very self conscious. It also sounds as though this is the way your relationship has always been with her. She has been difficult and you have put up with it, anxiety and all…. As a mother, however, things change and after surviving breast cancer they change even more I imagine. You want to protect your child from such negativity and your life because you have experienced a very tough thing and now perhaps value life in a completely new manner. So, what to do. Have you tried talking to your cousin? I say that hesitantly as I know that some people just don’t change. I have had to mourn that in my life and then move on, changing instead they way I react to certain people. Also, how close is your husband to her? You don’t owe anybody anything for falling in love with your husband. That was meant to be and happened because of you and him….nobody else. Your cousin facilitated that sure, but that doesn’t give her a blank chek to cause you anxiety in life! The situation does indeed, as you say, blow. You know, sometimes you simply have to grab the bull by the horns and first know what you want. Do you want to try and make things better with your cousin? Talk to her. If you feel she won’t change then slowly distance yourself from her. If she insists on spending time you can make a decision with your husband to say it as it is…”Cousin I feel we have drifted apart and don’t share the same values etc….” What is the worst that can happen? You already dread spending time with her….and probably avoid it all you can. Life is too short to try and spare people their feelings. I mean, I am nobody to preach on this as I too tend to spare people’s feelings and find it hard to say it as it is…but I am working on it. Every day. So be strong on this one. For your sanity, your beautiful baby boy, your husband and your beautiful self. And then maybe you’ll slowly but surely “un-blow” the situation…..
Thank You Jenny! I’m sorry it has taken so long for me to respond- Frankenstorm Sandy had us in limbo for a bit. Sometimes there is no real solution to a problem, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. It definitely helps to vent and get such a thoughtful response back. You have a very realistic insight and I appreciate your sensitivity and honesty. I read very few blogs but yours is quite good. Your writing skills are superior and I like your topics. Keep it up girl